wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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