Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
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My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
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Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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