hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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