Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
FUCK WHALES
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