It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
