Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
