He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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