Pants 0. Shit 1.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
