Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
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