thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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