I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
