i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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