so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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