problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
It's official drugs can't kill me
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
