i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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