you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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