only if we run a train.
done.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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