I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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