he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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