I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
