discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
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"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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