the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
