plz talk dirty to me
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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