Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
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