my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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