come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
