stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
