Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
