You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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