Ketchup is God's man juice
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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