Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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