My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
