It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
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