Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
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