He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
