You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Randomize
