Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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