I think scott just propositioned me for sex
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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