Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
