New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
