In the future we'll all be gay
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
