i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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