I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
