also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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