I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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