Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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