I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i wish my penis had a tongue
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
