Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
