He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
