it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
