Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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