i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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