did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
