And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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