A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
nutella sex= disaster
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
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