My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
